While the holidays can be times of good cheer, for some they can be a time of increased stress and sadness. On top of that, during winter someone might be affected by Seasonal Affective Disorder, sometimes called the “winter blues.” Someone with SAD might have feelings of hopelessness and sadness, changes in appetitive, increase in fatigue, and other negative changes (Psychology Today). 

So, what should you do if you notice someone in your life seems to be having a hard time this winter? 

We talked with Erin Cheever, a Doctor of Psychology student at the Family Health Clinic, about how you can know if someone in your life needs help and how you can support your struggling friend or family member. 

What are some signs that your friend or family member might be hurting and need help/support?

Isolation is the biggest sign that someone you love might be hurting. If you notice them social isolating during events, canceling plans, or withdrawing around others, there is a change they could be struggling during this holiday season. 

Apathy is another sign someone is struggling. If you know someone is not following through with their daily obligations, they may be struggling with the overwhelmingness of the holidays. 

Irritability, a negative mindset, increased substance use are all signs as well. Holidays are especially tough for people who have recently lost someone, so if you know of a person who is grieving, they may need extra support. 

If you notice someone seems to be down or withdrawn this winter, how should you approach having a conversation with them about it?

The best way to approach this conversation is in a direct manner. “Hi friend, I have noticed X, Y, and Z and just wanted to check in on how you are doing?” Also, offer concrete solutions and suggestions for help. “Hey it’s been a few weeks since I saw you. Come over for dinner tonight.”

Do you recommend suggesting a therapist/therapy to someone directly? 

This is a tricky question. If it is someone you are close to and have had a conversation about how they are doing, approaching that they should get help can be seen as you caring. If you are not close to the person, it can be seen as you thinking their problems are too much to handle.

Some people are hesitant about therapy, so since we are moving toward integration (with health care), a suggestion could be, “Have you talked to your primary care provider about how you are feeling? At my last appointment at The Family Health Clinic, a behavioral health specialist came to talk to me and it was very helpful” or something like that. 

But yes, encouraging help in a loving way by either seeing a therapist or talking to their primary care provider is a good way to help people get help. 

What tips do you have for supporting your friends and family members during the holiday season?

• Continue inviting them to celebrations and events. If they are turning you down, it’s not about you and the continued invites reminds them that you care. But don’t push if they decline
• Listen to your friends and family without minimizing, judging, or giving advice
• Understand grief doesn’t just impact the first holiday without your loved one, it impacts all of them. 
• Send a thoughtful, heartfelt holiday card
• Support their holiday choices, even if they aren’t what you think they should be doing for the holiday

More Mental Health Resources

If you’d like more information about mental/behavioral health, we have blogs for you on the following topics:

• Behavioral Health: What Is It, and Why Is It So Important?
• Staying Mentally Healthy During Fall and Winter
• 10 Ways to Deal with the Holiday Blues & Seasonal Depression
• Benefits of Mindfulness and Meditation
• Mental Health Minute: 99 Positive Coping Skills

For Personalized Care, Contact the Family Health Clinic

At the Family Health Clinic, we believe in an integrated approach to health that helps you feel the best you can both mentally and physically. Call (800) 321-5043 to make an appointment today with either a provider or a behavioral health therapist.