You probably already know that there are many benefits to having a child participate in athletics, such as learning how to be committed, respectful, and trustworthy, working as part of a team, getting regular exercise and more. But, did you know that playing sports can also add high levels of stress to a child’s life that could potentially cause them mental or physical distress?
Rather than adding to this pressure, if you are a supporter of community athletics, we suggest that you take these steps to become one of the best local sports supporters!
1. Do: Understand Your Role – The Supporter
As an article from Competitive Edge says, “Your role on the parent-coach-athlete team is as a Support player with a capital S! You need to be your child’s best fan – unconditionally!” If a child is facing stress from a coach’s expectations, having you as support can help them work through the pressure they’re feeling. If you instead act as a coach at home or when they are looking for your help, they might feel like they have no escape from the pressure they’re feeling.
2. Don’t: Make it About Winning
While winning is nice, youth sports are about bettering oneself and learning how to play to the best of your abilities. Instead of focusing on beating an opponent or a teammate for a position, show a child how to compete with themselves. Your words have power, and if you compare a child to someone else or tell them to focus on winning, it creates stress that can be harmful to their performance and their mind.
3. Do: Let A Child Know They are More than their Performance
Want to know what children have said is their least favorite part of sports, according to Changing the Game Project? “The ride home.” Why? Because according to interviews, “many children feel as if their parental actions and conversations after games made them feel as though their value and worth in their parent’s eyes was tied to their athletic performance and the wins and losses of their team.” If a child feels their value is based on their athletic performance, this can add to the stress of the sport and cause problems with your relationship.
4. Don’t: Talk Poorly About Other Parents, Children, or Coaches
If you are a parent, you are a role model for your child. If your child hears you talking badly about the coach, or other parents and children, this can influence their thoughts on the people around them. This creates harmful team tensions. If you are not a parent, but still support community athletics, remember that the youth can hear you and what you say does have an impact.
5. Do: During a competition, project positivity.
Do you think yelling negative comments at refs, coaches, or other players helps a child? It doesn’t. During the competition itself, try to keep your mouth closed unless it’s to yell positive comments for the whole team. The game is about each youth, not about your feelings. Try to understand how it makes them feel to hear toxic comments shouted from a loved one or role model.
6. Don’t: Use Fear as A Motivator
If you threaten or guilt a child as a way for them to play better, it is proven that the long term result are negative effects on a child’s mental health and performance (Competitive Edge). Fear serves to take the fun out of the game and create an intense situation where a child is extremely afraid to fail. This is a terrible dynamic to create between you and a child, and it is one that will have lasting effects.
7. Do: Take the Parent Code of Conduct and Be One of the Best Local Sports Supporters
This code of conduct, created by Little League, highlights many of the points we’ve talked about. Instead of only digesting this information, make a commitment to better your child’s sports experiences, starting today. Even though this is for Little League you can still apply it to your child’s sports. If you are not a parents, still look through the code, and see how you can apply it to the sports you support.
Worried About A Child?
If you’ve noticed a change in a child, or if are worried they are facing too much stress from school or sports, call us at 1-800-321-5043 to make an appointment with one of our Behavioral Health Specialists.
Sources:
http://www.littleleague.org/Assets/forms_pubs/asap/Parent_Code-of-Conduct.pdf
http://changingthegameproject.com/the-ride-home-after-the-game/
https://www.competitivedge.com/parentscoaches-guides-13-steps-being-winning-parent
